Not a Compliment

So, I was at a birthday dinner for my pal and his fiancee the other night ok? And like, this totally awkward busgirl is like...busing our table or whatever and making super awkward chatting and blah blah...

And she asks how old everyone's turning, and I make some comment like "I was pissed as hell when I found out he was a year younger than me!" and Awkardo The BusGirl was like "ZOMGOSH you look SO MUCH YOUNGER!" so immediately I'm like, OK, we can be friends.

Then my pal counters with a "But I am in fact, much better looking."

:::laughter::::

Awkwardo the BusGirl: (to me) If it makes you feel better I think you are SO much more attractive than Snooki from The Jersey Shore.

Um. WTF?!?!

Ok, so THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT.

Because that in fact means that you were thinking that I was along the lines of Snooki to barging with! An UPGRADED Snooki is still a SNOOKI. I mean COME ON PEOPLE.

OK.

ADMITTEDLY...we could possibly be related. And...if I covered myself in spray tan, added extensions and a poof...perhaps we could look slightly alike...in very specific lighting and context.
...
ALRIGHT I LOOK LIKE SNOOKI.

:::SIGH:::

Thanks JERSEY SHORE. My celebrity look-alike USED to be Claudia Cardinale:

Now look what you've done MTV. You've gone and TRASHED me up. What hope is left? I used to be able to cling to the idea that I had an old Hollywood glamour about me.

Alas, no.

My destiny is to grind up on some Guidos in a nasty club and wear incredibly fuzzy slippers.

Whatever.

Oh, and PS? It's the first day of classes for the semester today.

EEEEE!

And I look like Snooki.

Just to remind you.

The Undergrads? They don't know Claudia.

They know the Snooks.

It's all over for me.