Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Really AM Back in College!

As evidenced by the fact that today I have consumed the following:

1. Coffee
2. Diet Coke
3. Cadbury Mini Eggs
4. Leftover Chinese food.

I mean...hello? Like all I need is a pop tart and a nap? And I'm officially a legit undergrad.

ZOMG you GUYZ. It's been like 472 YEARS since I blogged. I feel wracked with guilt and shame.

As promised, I'm dedicating this post to hard core super fan LAURA. She puts the rest of you passive readers to shame for reals. Like, I saw her at KitKat's 30th B-Day party (KitKat? YOU OLLLDDD) right? And she was for reals QUOTING this blog.

Judge not people, because she's officially my new BFF and what are YOU?

Nothing, that's what.

Speaking of KitKat's 30th B-Day party, TheDivineMissJ and I had wheely chair races, both of which I lost. Like they were definitely trying to make it all an "Adult Party" and stuff with like fancy and delicious finger foods and other things grown-ups like...and TheDivineMissJ and I totally rebelled and decided to race each other in wheely chairs instead. I mean, we actually almost got in trouble. Clearly, we are not OK with the ageing process.

OK-so obviously we have TONS to catch up on. But first things first, BoyKing? Is kind of the best actor ever in the entire universe.

No, for real. I'm not kidding.

OK, I suppose I might be a bit biased, but you guys? He was just in a new show at AlmaMater where he got to be hilarious and improv and dress-up like a girl PLUS do Shakespeare? And I kind of almost died from pride. Like my adopted cub is the SHIT.

Good thing I'm not down for FutureBabies right now? If I was, they had better be really good at stuff because they face a life of being compared to BoyKing.

Every waking second of their pitiful lives.

I'll be all "Yeah, that's a good macaroni painting but can you actually make the macaroni spell out 'mommy is the most awesome'? Because that's what BoyKing would do. FYI, FutureBaby."

Anyway! So like, not only was he utterly fearless and hilarious up there, but there was a point that he literally SILENCED the audience with an incredible speech that just came totally out of left field.

THIS speech to be exact:

I have of late-but wherefore I know not-lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercise; and indeed it goes so heavy with my disposition, that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason; how infinite in faculty; in form and moving, how express and admirable. In action how like an angel; in apprehension, how like a God. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me."

This is perhaps one of my favorite pieces of Shakespeare, as I think it resonates in a deeply hidden part of all of us.

Soak it IN people.

BoyKing did a fantastic job with it, and now the campus is just all abuzz with how wonderfully gifted he is.

To which I say, hands off my BoyKing or I will mess you up.

I mean, I am cool to share him if all we're doing is just glorying in his talent. Like THAT'S totes OK. But like, Campus? If you're thinking you can all take him to hug goats and feed deer? You've got another thing coming.

You guys don't think I'm causing him to need therapy right?

Actually, don't answer that.

What I also must tell you is that I got a leading role in a new play. So what are we on now? Like [NewNewNewestPlay]? Let's just call this one what it actually is. I'm getting bold in my old age. A Comedy of Errors, and I play Adriana.

Look it up.

Count my lines.

I'm pretty much famous.