Thursday, July 16, 2009

Fancy a Tickle?


I'm leaving for England TONIGHT.


I just wanted to pop in and say "Lata bitches", because even though I will have the interwebs while I'm over there, unless England basically SUCKS I don't think I'll be taking the time to blog.


If something like SUPER AMAZING INTERESTING happens, mebbe.

But I will have epic stories to tell when I return, I'm sure. I get back in 12 days my fine friends, so I'll see you then.

In the meantime, why not dig around in the archives and fall in love with me all over again?

Some of my favorites:
Like Some Junkie 'Cause We're Not
What Have I Done to Deserve This?
Episode 5: The CrAndy Strikes Back
Harry Potter is SO FLY
Harry Potter is SO FLY: Part Deux
That's Tight, Yo.
My Harry's Just Been Pottered
Don't Stand So Close to Me
There's Nothing False About Hope
Jew Envy
Use Your Toes Responsibly

Have a great next 12 days, I know I will!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Slip N Death

What up PLAYAS!

So, this past saturday was a big, BIG day. First, the baby shower for KitKat.

Yes, it is time to acknowledge that KitKat and The Yeti are soon to expect, YetiKat.

And it's AMAZING, and wonderful and I can't wait to teach him bad words.

I mean teach him SONGS. Songs. Like sweet baby-appropriate songs.

And then Saturday night, The Beav me and Babs went to The Dirty Triangle. ANd you guys? JOURNEY COVER BAND.

So.Awesome. Like, quite possibly BEST NIGHT EVER. Because not only did they cover Journey? But they were IN COSTUME. Yes. And? THEY WERE AWESOME.

So awesome in fact, that they even did Steve Perry's solo venture "Sherry"...which is perhaps one of my all time favorite songs. I mean I was totally a super-fan by the end of the night.
So much so that I will continue to STRONGLY push that Hooliet hire them to play her wedding.

And, on the way home I see that I have a voice-mail from BoyKing, left at midnight, which IMMEDIATELY sent me into OMGHEISDEADINADITCHANDICANNOTSAVEHIM mode. But I listened to it and it was this sweet like "um, just wanted to say hi!" type of thing...I come to find out this adorable message was because he had been playing The Oregon Trail and when he was fording the river, the arrow keys didn't work, thus he was not able to avoid the rocks....and I drowned.


But you know, he just has to learn that risk and death are a way of life on The Oregon Trail. You don't reach your manifest destiny without sacrifice my friend.


So, HOLYSHITILEAVEFORENGLANDONTHURSDAY so things are a little hectic (in an exciting way) right now. But yesterday I had like a little get together at my house to sort of say goodbye to some folks before I left...seeing as how I will not be able to keep up my usual habit of inundating people with texts for 12 whole days.

So, naturally-I bought a Slip N Slide and 250 water balloons.

Like ya do.

And of course there's like 10 zillion warnings on the Slip N Slide right? Like DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU ARE OVER 12 YEARS OF AGE. And DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU ARE OVER 5 FEET TALL. And the age old "DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU ARE OVER 110 POUNDS."

But we sort of felt that these were more, guidelines than anything else.

So, now I have a bruised knee and I may have actually ruptured some internal organs. Because something just feels REALLY AMISS in and around my rib cage.
BoyKing cut his toe open, scraped up both his knees and may not be able to have children.

However? Totally worth it because it's ridonkulously fun. And if you're my friend on Facebook you can see two pretty impressive videos.

What was hysterical too was that you know DaddyCap is just standing hosing down the Slip N Slide holding a drink while me and BoyKing take turns hurling ourselves down it...and it was just the funniest picture. Like DaddyCap is totally some father from the 50s like "ok,, ok...let your sister go now...good boy...right-o".

Good times.

Also water balloon fights? Best idea ever. I'm just going to start having a stock of water balloons always on hand. You know, just in case.

Filling those bitches up was far more involved than I seem to remember.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Earth? There are Pillars of it.

I couldn't even begin to tell you what I was dreaming about....probably just the SUNSHINE which I LONG TO BE BAKING IN.

Plus, I have hardly been sleeping. Farkin' Pillars of the Earth has totally been owning me. But I finished it finally last night in the wee hours. I really enjoyed only issue, which is not really an issue, it's kind of what made it so great...was that I was constantly having to prepare myself for MORE AWFUL THINGS to happen. Like, 976 pages of high stress and suspense and VIOLENCE and DIRTY MIDDLE AGES STUFF is a lot to take.

And like, this might be TMI? But there is a lot of the sexing in this book. And like, I think I'm just hyper aware of it because I am normally reading at at High School level which is like some snuggling, some hand holding, and some slipping of the tongue....the rest of the action takes place "off-stage" if you will. Not gonna lie? Think I like it better that way. Like, I'm good with NEVER KNOWING what MiddleAgesLady looks like under her linen tunic that probably hasn't been washed for 2 years.

I mean SHE probably hasn't been washed for 2 years for god's sake.