Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Devil's Trickery

Ok, so you guys? Right now I am typing this from the PUBLIC LIBRARY.

Oh yes.

I am surfing the free wireless wave at a public library.

I have become what I most loathed...a PATRON.

So I'm all chillin' on gchat, chattin' up YPBM and he's all:

YBPM: I gave a lecture on Dinosaurs there once!

Me: No you did NOT!


Me: When? Please tell me it was like 8th grade or something.

YBPM:...I may have been wearing a Carolina Panthers uniform. So....7th? To a bunch of four year olds, so I had to slum...majorly.

(look at ole' dear YBPM slummin' it for the 4 year olds!)

YBPM: I thought I'd be lecturing to kids my own age. I mean who WOULDN'T want to hear my awesome lecture on Dinosaurs?

The more I imagine this, the more awesome it becomes. Like, I thought I was an uber dork nerd princess because I made my dad take me to a lecture by Robert Bakker when I was like...10. And here YBPM is like dumbing down his lectures for infants on paleontology. BTWs? When I told YBPM that I had met Robert Bakker, he completely freaked out with jealousy.


It's the little things people.

Also, I've added his DinoLecturing to the Pile of Random Amazing Bits That Make YBPM The Shiz.

In this pile already are the following:

1. That he has on more than one occasion referred to himself as a ninja
2. His incredible Saucy Tim 17th Century Fop voice.
3. Wolverine Hands/Tiny Ears
4. Unusual level of gun knowledge
5. That the thing we both dread most about dealing with children is that children lead to soggy Cheerios. Which are gross.

On this week's episode of Acting Class With the String Bean Who Juggles Balloons Filled With Sand:

So, BoyKing and I actually did NOT stand next to each other during our acting class warm up, and a fellow student actually said "That's funny. I thought if they separated, they died."

I was unsure whether to laugh or cry.

Probably cry right?

Friday, February 12, 2010


You guys should know, that currently we have like 4 inches of snow in Atlanta.

For reals? That's a big deal.

Also, someone came up with the tag of HOTHlanta, which I love and adore and plan on making my very own.

Most importantly however, it's totally mine and BoyKing's TWO YEAR FRIENDIVERSARY.

Ok. I won't lie to you, I don't know the exact date, but it's right around this time.

And since BoyKing and myself have been secretly in total hate with each other of late, I wanted to take this opportunity to wax poetic on the super amazing wonderful friend that he is. Because for reals, seeing each other in class twice a week, and then like all day is hard. I mean, I reminded him how he should be supremely grateful for such a privilege as MY COMPANY and how we used to wish we lived in each other's pockets...

That's weird, kinda.

Anyway-he actually totally pulled an EdwardCullen on me yesterday and was like,

BoyKing: Our friendship is like heroin...

Me: Um.

BoyKing: start using heroin right? And like you only use it once and while and it's like super awesome.

Me: I think...

BoyKing: And then like, you start using it like more and stuff...and it's like sometimes good? But like sometimes not? And then you can like overdose and stuff?

Me: I'm not comfortable with this metaphor.

BoyKing: But then like, you get into the habit and it's fine.

Me: Are you using heroin?

BoyKing: No.

Me: This is awkward.

BoyKing: For real.

Me: We should probably hug it out.

As a side note? BoyKing finally had headshots done right? I took him, or rather Deronte the Civic of Style took him with my assistance. Naturally he needed like supreme amounts of help finding something acceptable to wear, so I picked out two shirts for him. So the photog is all "Whoever suggested you wear this blue shirt was spot on because it just makes your blue eyes POP!"

:::points at self and jumps up and down:::


Anyway, he calls me when they're up on the computer to see...and I....started crying.

I was all "Oh! My ManChild grew up so FAST *sniff*."

ANYWAY. For your reading pleasure:

A Haiku in Honor of BoyKing
Mostly you smell nice,
You're the tallest guy I know,
Your weird thumbs are cool.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Mmmm....Grapefruit Juice

....and VODKA.

At 6pm. On a Monday. Alone in my house.

I think that, if nothing else, strongly indicates that I am in fact an actress. Monday Drunk Blogging. OMG YOU GUYS. Maybe I should like start a tradition. Like every Monday, I'll have a cocktail on an empty stomach and blog the hell outta some happenings.

I'll make a note.

This week on Adventures in Acting Class With an Overgrown 8 Year Old Who Has No Control of His Own Limbs and Wears Ugly T-Shirts:

So, on this particular day BoyKing is all "JESSE YOU ARE MY PARTNER" and literally like informs the entire population of this fact, so that no one can...I don't know...steal me.

So, we're partners. The activity this class involves having to ask your partner provocative questions.

Cue me ruing the day I ever was BoyKing's partner. I can basically hear the gears churning in his mind like they've never churned before.

Ok, so I'm not even going to tell you guys the shit he asked me ok? But let's just say I actually had TEARS WELLING IN MY EYES at one point. But, payback is in fact a huge bitch, and when we had to demonstrate for the class I asked him:

Me: Are you embarrassed to be wearing my pants?

It was AWESOME. Because you guys? He was in fact TOTALLY WEARING MY PANTS.

How does BoyKing have your pants you ask? Well, they're these athletic pants that I lent him like last spring and he just kept them because he abuses people he loves. So BoyKing turned like totally pink and the whole class laughed at him.

It was a proud moment for me. I mean, in all honesty, it's all in good fun and he could probably like gut a bunny rabbit in front of me and I'd be all "you sweet thing you!" and I could probably like kick him in the nuts 14 times consecutively and he'd say "thank you SO much, I really appreciate all you do for me." However...our acting teacher pronounced:

"You two do NOT play well together." I'm thinking it's possibly the end of our partnership in acting class.

Things That Were Awesome Which Happened This Weekend:

So InternWitch had a birthday gathering at her house on Saturday which involved playing HOURS worth of Catchphrase, which is completely my new favorite game.

It does however become powerfully evident how huge of a dork I am, as like, many of my clues involved connecting things to Shakespeare, and when I got "Beowulf" for my word, rather than being all "GRENDEL" I was like "oh, this is an amazing piece that has incredible layering of Christianity and Norse mythology." Also, YBPM got "Malcolm X" and literally says "Oh! Martin Luther King except Evil."



Then he all tries to recover with "No! No, I totally only meant 'but more violent.'"

Sorry dude, but there is virtually NO WAY you are ever recovering from/living down that statement.

It was pretty much awesome.