Here at the Library, Sometimes One Must Read.

You guys? I must tell people how to print stuff AT LEAST 30-45 times a day.

Just repeating the same schpeal OVER and OVER and OVER again.

In an effort to help this, some time ago, a co-worker made a very handy and clear sign with step by step instructions and hung it right above the print station.

And you guys? Not so much with the complicated.

So when people holla at me from the print station like "hey! I printed some stuff" or "how do I get my printed stuff?" or something to that effect, I will usually say:

Me: You're going to start at the computer right there. There's a sign directly in front of you with step by step instructions.

At this point one of several things happen...NONE of which include READING THE SIGN AND FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS.

They either frantically scan the air/wall/sky for the sign...which they never find OR they just stare at me blankly like "and?" until I just walk over there and do it for them OR they walk away from the computer and start blindly stabbing at the copier.

Like, what part of "START AT THAT COMPUTER and THERE IS A SIGN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU" is so confusing?

ALL OF YOU DESERVE TO BE UNEMPLOYED.

Ok. That was a bit below the belt. I know.

I'm sorry alright?

Not all the way sorry, but like a LITTLE bit sorry.

OK! So JUST NOW some lady called about volunteering at the library right? And I didn't talk to her, my co-worker did ok? So I'm just going to transcribe the conversation as I heard it.
Ok, well volunteers at the library typically shelve book.

Mmm hmm. Well you simply need to come in and fill out an application...
Yes, an application.
Mmm hmmm. And then once that's approved we schedule and orientation...
Well...not currently. But I mean....sometimes they may have clowns scheduled for the children's programs.
Um...I don't know when and if there will be clowns.
Well...there's nothing with clowns scheduled right now that I can tell.
Ma'am. I don't know. I don't know if there will be any clowns in the future.
I cannot tell you that information. What is scheduled right now, for the next couple of months, does not appear to involve clowns.
Yes, if you needed to leave, you could just sign out and go.
Well, you will have to keep your eye on the program schedule...no ma'am. No one can make sure you know if there are going to be clowns...
Ma'am? Maybe you should think about volunteering elsewhere.