Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Lousy Plumber

You guys? We have a first today at the library.

I have seen ass crack.

Yep.

Way to go guy using the copier.

I'm actually sort of astounded that this is the first time in nearly 3 years of working in the public library that I've seen ass crack.

Also, for your laughing at how I earn my paycheck pleasure, today, my first Reference
Transaction of the morning:

Phone: RING RING
Me: Good morning, this is Reference. How may I help you?
TransmissionMistress: Hi. Can you google something for me?
Me: Um. Sure.
just so you know, people call us to "google" shit for them with increasing frequency. Like really? YOU TOO CAN GOOGLE.
TransmissionMistress: I need the phone number of a couple of companies.
Me: Sure. What companies are you looking for?
TransmissionMistress: Well, actually I just need you to google transmission repair shops north of atlanta and give me some phone numbers.
Me:....well. There are 274,000 results ma'am. Perhaps you'd like to narrow it down.
TransmissionMistress: Ok, read me the first 10
Me: [begins reading listings and phone numbers]
TransmissionMistress: No. Nope. Nope. No. Not that. No.
Me: Well, perhaps you'd like to narrow it down??

This lady? Had me google "transmission repair shops [insert city north of atlanta here]" several times, until I had given her appx 30 phone numbers.

LOOK. Even if you do not have the internerds immediately accessible? TRY THE PHONE BOOK. Or perhaps you can dial INFORMATION on your phone RATHER THAN THE LIBRARY.

Every fiber of my being YEARNED to just yell out "I AM NOT GOOGLE! YOU HAVE NOT CALLED GOOGLE. YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE AND I HOPE IT COSTS YOU LIKE 10 ZILLION DOLLARS TO FIX YOUR TRANSMISSION."

But then? They complain. And I would get yelled at. Which would then force me into doing very violent things.

Two words. Giant.Club.

Ok, THREE words.

Giant. SPIKEY. Club.

Anyway.

One thing I want to again reiterate today...and I know I say this a lot. And I'm going to say it again, not only to remind you guys, but to remind myself.
Never, never, forget to tell people they matter to you. That they are important to you. And that you love them, if you do. Life changes in an instant. In a blink. And no matter what you believe comes after this life, don't wait for whatever that is. Don't assign a meaning to suffering, or a justification. Just care for the person who suffers. Care for them, and comfort them. Don't expect or assume they have some reward coming in the great hereafter. Be their reward by being there, today, now, in this moment. Give hope, give laughter, give time, give of yourself. It makes a difference, of that I am sure.
And for my great Faerie Queen, I am thinking of you and sending you all the magic I have. I am thinking of your striking beauty, your powerful voice from another dimension, your incredible sense of humour that borders a little bit on insanity, and your unflinching support. I am thinking of the fact that you have already endured more than anyone should, and that I would not be so graceful as you if it were me. I am thinking that I am glad to know you, and lucky to perform with you. I am thinking that I look forward to telling you all this in person very soon.

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