Friday, October 23, 2009

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Hey, hey! Look at me! New home! New post! It's a BRAND NEW DAY OF AWESOME! And? I'm wearing an amazingly hot pair of boots.

OK, so the day before yesterday lady comes in right? And she kinda looks like Emma from Glee if Emma from Glee where dressed up as Baby Jane for Halloween.

Like she has this bleached blond bob, which may have actually been a wig, and like, crazy ass makeup on. Her eyebrows have clearly been shaved off and replaced with a surprised line of RED PENCIL. She is clearly spray-tanned, and wearing and extremely low cut black shift dress and little puffy sleeved jacket. She is only checking out books about Marilyn Monroe and Jean Harlow.

Like...I get it lady. You're trying to look like an Old Hollywood Bombshell.

Instead? You look like an Old Hollywood Tranny.

Good luck to ya!

Also, I feel the need to share something with all of you. Y.B.P.M (Young Bonny Prince Malcolm) showed this to me, and it pretty much changed my life.

This is what you will be reading the remainder of your Friday:

BEHOLD!

Also? I don't know what's up with people's laundry situations of late? But there have been a crap-ton of folks up in here smelling like some SRS mildew.

Like how do you NOT know you smell like that when you leave the house. I have been told I have a bizarrely sensitive sense of smell (SUPERPOWER?!) but I mean, If I can smell the fact that there are spores of disgusting growing all up in your cardigan from across the RefDesk? You have an issue.

I mean, it's either mildew, or this a tribe of cats going around the area peeing in people's laundry baskets.

Either way, it's not OK.

1 comment:

  1. I also suffer from ONS - Overactive Nasal Syndrome. I can smell onion from 3 miles way. And winter is just the worst time.

    You would think it would be summer, with all the sweating and lack of deoderant and all that. But no, winter, with the clothing just brought out of storage and the sweating into wool because of the 30 degree fluctuations in temperatures in this god-forsaken state, is SO MUCH WORSE.

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