Greet THIS! Seasons!

Ok.

So it's DAY ONE of my final week at the library.

:::gleeful clapping:::

And it's greeted me in such fashion as to continually validate my choice to depart every.waking.second.

First things first, yours truly had to stock the lobby with TAX FORMS because if people don't have their TAX FORMS the first week in January, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM.

We currently have a 40 minute wait for the computers which naturally makes the entire population utterly furious and assume that I have a personal vendetta against them and I am purposefully creating false computer wait times in order to spite them

Right now there is a man, whom I will dub CrazyWyclef, who has made camp at the table directly in front of the RefDesk. He asked to borrow a pen. I gave him one. When he returned it, he leaned allllll the way over the desk and like slid the pen right next to my computer mouse.

Um. K.

Now he is doing this elaborate circular pacing dance in front of the desk periodically heaving sighs.

Whatever dude. Also, he's been asking passing strangers where the bathroom is. I've told him where it is twice.

OMG ALSO!?!

There's this guy who's been coming in. He's a newbie. He's probably like....32, 33 years old maybe? And like seriously, he is SO polite and SO gentlemanly...

AND SO CREEPY.

Now, I don't know if it's the fact that I have been hardened against the whole of humanity from my work here OR because he sounds EXACTLY like this guy:

And not like the ACTOR, but specifically Philip Padget: MURDERER/STALKER from "Milagro" from The X-Files, Season 6.

You guys, EEEEEERIE.

Now, I know there was a time that I wished the X-Files were for totals real? And I could go work at the FBI and find a steamy partner who was tall, lanky, literate, lean, funny, passionate, slightly crazy so that I could fix him and we could unlock conspiracies together and maybe make out a lot...and also a time where I was literally able to connect every single thing that occurred in my day to something in the X-Files....

BUT!

I do not want my heart to be ripped out by a psychic surgeon!

OK?!